I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
