Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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