remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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