No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
