Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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