remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
