i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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