I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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