ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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