What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
