I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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