I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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