Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
