Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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