Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
