On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
