I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
