Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
