god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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