I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
