why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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