Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
