Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
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finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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