I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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