you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
