when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
