eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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