I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
