Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
