I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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