So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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