so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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