god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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