Nicole vs. Life
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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