i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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