please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
