I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
