I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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