She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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