just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
