His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
