Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
