guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
