walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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