Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
