i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The feeling are messing with the penis
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
