That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
