we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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