so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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