why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
