What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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