so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
