office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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