I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
