not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
