You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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