so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
