Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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