let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize