woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
