My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
