Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
