hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
