All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize