So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize