when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
